Scars and the Pain Behind Them
by gothraven89
Summary: AU. After a tough case, a painful past and a shocking secret is revealed about Ryan Wolfe. It changes things between the entire team, especially between him and Eric. Warning! SLASH! DON'T LIKE DON'T READ!. You've been warned. PLEASE REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything C.S.I. Miami, it's all property of CBS and whatnot, so don't sue.

Scars and the Pain Behind them 

Chapter 1: Scars across Pale Flesh

It was the end of another day for the dedicated C.S.I. team of Miami Dade County. Eric Delko was headed for the locker-room, all the while having a conversation with Calleigh and Alexx. Horatio was at the hospital with the young victim of the case they'd just solved, she had been beaten and almost hacked to pieces by her own mother as it turned out.

" I still can't believe thata womancould do something like that to her own child." Sighed Alexx.

" Yeah, it just blows my mind." Added Calleigh.

" I'm just glad I can only imagine what it must feel like for that girl." Said Eric as he and the two women walked into the locker-room.

All of them however, stopped dead in their tracks when their gazes fell on something the thought they'd never see again so soon.

" Oh my God." Whispered Alexx with wide eyes.

" Jesus Christ." Whispered Calleigh, her green eyes mirroring Alexx's.

Eric just gawked, and his mouth was slightly agap.

There, standing in front of his locker was a very startled Ryan Wolfe. He had been in the motions of changing into a fresh shirt when his three co-workers had walked in.

Eric, Calleigh, and Alexx got a full view of the young man's back, and the deep, jagged, ugly scars that marred it.

Ryan's eyes were wide and fearful but, he quickly gathered himself and hastily grabbed the button-up shirt from his locker and quickly buttoned it up. Once he was done, he swallowed visibly before slowly walking passed his stunned co-wokers.

" I'm sorry you all had to see that." He said suddenly before he continued to the door, but before he walked through them, he paused and turned to gaze back at the three pairs of disbelieving eyes staring at him.

" I wish I could only pretend whatit feels like too." He said softly, his big brown eyesconveying a brief glimpse into an inner agony beforeRyan walkedout the door.

Calleigh, Eric, and Alexx looked back at each other, still too stunned to speak. But there was one question playing acrossall of theirminds.

" Whatthe hell was going on?"


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own anything C.S.I. Miami, it's all property of CBS and whatnot, so don't sue.

Chapter 2: The Horror Behind the Scars

The second Ryan Wolfe got home, he slammed the front door shut and punched it for good measure.

_" This can't be happening, this can't be happening, this can't be happening!"_ Was playing through his head like a mantra.

Ryan ran both his hands through his hair before he felt the bile rising from his stomach to the back of his throat. He barely made to the bathroom in time to empty the contents of his stomach into the toilet.

Once his stomach had settled, Ryan flushed the toilet and stumbled to the sink. He splashed cold water onto his flushed face.

No sooner had he gathered himself and walked out of the bathroom, there was a knock at the front door.

" Great." Sighed Ryan, knowing full well who was behind thedoor as he went to open it.

Sure enough, the door gave way to reveal four very concerned, and very determined faces. Horatio Caine, Eric Delko, Calleigh Dusqeune, and Alexx Woods.

" Hello Mr. Wolfe." Said Horatio pleasantly, though his blue eyes stared back at Ryan with sterness.

" H-Hi." Said Ryan as he stepped aside and let them in. They all wordlessly stepped in and Ryan closed the door behind Alexx. He then turned to face his gaze and they stood in tense silence.

" I believe you know why we're here Ryan." Said Horatio as he walked up to Ryan.

" Take off your shirt." He added.

Ryan did as he was told without objection, like he was running on auto pilot. He undid the buttons of his shirt and shrugged if off so that his back was exposed, and the shirt was hammocked between his arms. Then with a sigh, he turned around so that they could all see the jagged scars that marred pale flesh. They looked just like those of a teenage girl now laying in a hospital bed. The victim from the case they'd just solved.

" My mother... She got mad at me one day when I was Ten." Said Ryan suddenly.

Upon hearing this, four pairs of eyes, incuding Horatio Caine's grew wide with shock.

" Wait... your mother did this to you?" Asked Eric in disbelief.

" Why don't you all have a seat, it's a long story." Said Ryan quietly as he turned to face them, pulling his shirt back over his shoulders and redoing a few buttons.

The moment he'd turned fully, Alexx all but tackled him in vice-like hug, tears in her eyes.

"Oh... Ryan baby." She whispered as she proceeded to squeeze the day-lights out of the young man.

A sad smile spread across Ryan's face as he huggedAlexx back.

" Hey, it's alright Alexx, I'm okay. It's about time I toldyou guys." He said as he gently extricated himslef from Alexx's embrace.

Eric, Calleigh, Horatio, and Alexxtook a seat on the big sofa while Ryan took a seat in the matching couch.

" Now your all probably wondering just how a mother could do something like this to her own child right? Well, the truth is my mother doesn't love me, my mother isn't capable of loving me." Said Ryan, speaking as though ot was the most normal thing on the planet.

This left the four people on the couch totally stunned once more.

" What do you mean?" Asked Horatio, feeling anger at this unknown woman for what she'd done to this young man.

" I mean, she couldn't love me, because every time she'd look at me, she'd see my father... the man who'd raped her. I am the product of that violation" Answered Ryan with a humorless chuckle.

" What?" Whispered Calleigh, as she turned from one stunned face to another before directing her green eyes to Ryan once more.

" Yes, my father is the man who raped my mother and made me." Said Ryan evenly.

" What... What happened that day Ryan?" Asked Horatio, for once tongue-tied as he stared at his young co-worker.

" That day... That day... Mom had been drinking alot that day and when I got home from school, she was to say the least, not thrilled to see me.Her exact words to me were_," I hate you you little spawn of Satan, you ruined my life and I should have gotten rid of you while you were still inside of me." _When I tried to reason with her, she kicked me in theface and dragged me into the kitchen by my hair. That's when she got the nine-inch butcher knife from the drawer and..." Ryan trailed off as he eyed the horrified looks on his co-workers faces. He sighed before he continued.

" After she'd finished carving me up, she just dropped the knife and walked away. As I laid there, I heard her walk down the hall to her bedroom and after the door shut, there was silence, and then... bang. I knew my mother wasn't going to change her mind and help me. For a few minutes, I just laid there thinking, maybe I should just bleed to death, that no one was gonna miss me if I died. Then I remembered Uncle Ron, the only somebody in the entire world who ever loved me. I decided I'd live for him, I managed to pick myself upoff thekitchen floor and make it to the phone and call 911. The rest is well... history, I went to live with my uncle and picked up the pieces of my life and went on living." Said Ryan.

With this final statement, Ryan let out a sigh and eyed his co-workers.

Eric could barely believe what his ears had just heard as he stared at Ryan. He turned to see that both Alexx and Calleigh were crying, and Horatio looked decades older. Eric found himself swallowling against the lump that had formed in his throat as he turned his gaze back to the young man sitting across from him.

" Jesus man... I'm so sorry Ryan." He said when he found his voice.

" Don't worry about it." Answered Ryan with a tired smile.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own anything C.S.I. Miami, it's all property of CBS and whatnot, so don't sue.

Chapter 3: A Crack in the Hard Shell

The sun shone brightly over the city of Miami. It was the start of a new morning and at the Miami Dade Crimelab, Eric Delko was a man on a mission. having been ordered by both Horatio Caine and Alexx Woods, he was prowling by the lobby elevators, waiting for a certain young coworker of his.

When they'd all left Ryan's place the night before, they had left with some still unanswered questions. Ryan himself had not been cooperative. He'd politely told them to not dwell on what he'd revealed to them, saying that he was alright and they had nothing to worry about.

Last night, Eric hadn't been able to get a wink of sleep, whenever he closed his eyes, the image ofthe Ryan Wolfe he knew laying face down ona kitchen floor, his back covered in angry, jagged wounds, slowly bleeding to death, gazing up at him with those big brown eyes,terrified and dying, would haunt him.

Eric was shaken from his musings when the elevator doors opened and a very bedraggled looking Ryan Wolfe stepped out. Eric immediatly sprung into action, before the younger man could react, Erichad grabbed him by the arm in a gentle but firm grip and was dragging him towards the morgue.

" Delko, what the hell are you doing? Let go!" Yelled Ryan as he tried feebly to pry Eric's hand off his arm, failing miserably.

" We still have some things to talk about." Growled Eric as he paused and turned to give Ryan his most stern glare. To his silent relief, Ryan stopped fighting and averted his gaze to the floor. He gave no resistance as Eric dragged him the rest of the way to the morgue where Horatio, Calliegh, and a very determined Alexx were waiting for them.

" One Wolfe found and captured." Said Eric with a small grin as he yanked Ryan into the room.

" I already told you guys I was fine." Mumbled Ryan, the anger evident in his tone and posture.

" Well, you'll forgive us if we don't take your word for it Mr. Wolfe." Said Horatio sternly. Watching as the young man he and the three other members of his team were going to grill some anwers from, rolled his eyes.

" Baby, have a seat on my table." Said Alexx gently, but firmly. Hanging his head, Ryan did as he was told, he sat with his legs dangling a few inches from the floor.

" Mr. Wolfe, you could have compromised that last case we had. Why didn't you tell us, or me privately?" Asked Horatio,Ryan didn't look up, but their was a humorless smirk gracing his thin lips as he spoke.

" I honestly don't know why I didn't say anything. I guess, a part of me didn't want you guys to know that,I am the product of a rape. I thought I could handle the case, and I kept it together mostly, but I threw up a few times when no one was watching... I'm sorry." Said Ryan quietly, his hands wringing together nervously.

" Am I in trouble?" Asked Ryan, this time looking up and gazing fearfully up at Horatio.

Horatio felt his heart clench painfully, Ryan looked like the scared little boy locked deep inside the memory of a horrific day. Horatio reached out and squeezed Ryan's shoulder.

" I just wish you had told me sooner Ryan." Said Horatio.

He watched as tears began to well in Ryan's eyes, but he quickly battled them back before he spoke a sentance that would leave them all stunned.

" I guess... a part of me is also afraid to trust any of you. A part of me's afraid that someone, even one of you is gonna grab a knife and finish what my mother started." Said Ryan, his voice barely above a whisper.

There was a deathly silence throughout the morgue, Alexx could barely believe her ears. Eric felt his jaw loose all tension, Calliegh's green eyes grew wide with unmasked horror, and Horatio remained neutral, though inside, his heart and mind were racing a milea second as he eyed his young friend. The four of them watched as a single tear escaped from Ryan's eye, carving a solitary trail down his cheek.

Ryan quickly wiped it away before he spoke in a silghtly shaky voice.

" Listen H... I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I know I should have... But I just couldn't then. I'm going home now, I'm no good to you or the lab right now. I need to be alone. "

With that, he got off the metal table and wordlessly walked out of the morgue before Horatio or anyone else could stop him.

Horatio sighed and hung his head before he turned to his team. Eric's gaze was to the floor, Calliegh looked on the brink of tears, while Alexx was already there.

" Horatio, my baby's hurting so bad." She sobbed, Horatio wrapped a confortingarm around her and turned to Eric. He was about to askhim to go after Ryan when theCuban walked briskly out of the door.

" I don't trust himto be alone." He growled before he too was out the door.

" Take care of him Eric." Thought Horatio as he pulled Calliegh to him as well.

Eric took the nearest exit, hoping to catch Ryan before he got to his car. That hope was dashed as he watched the younger man drive out of the parking-lot.

" Oh, you are not getting away from me that easy." Thought Eric as he dashed to his own vehicle and sped out of the parking lot.

Ryan Wolfe was not in a good state of mind as he drove to just barely below the speed limit. He felt sick, he wanted to go home, he wanted to forget that any of the current events had ever happened. He just wanted to die...

It was then that he remembered the prescription bottle of anti-depressants in his medicine cabinet


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Numb3rs, it's all property of CBS and whatnot, so don't sue.

Chapter 4: Shattered

Ryan barely hit the brake of his car in time to prevent himself from careening into the far right front of his house. He shot forth from the car and all but ran into his house, not noticing another car slowly coming nearer and nearer. Ryan stalked through his door and headed straight to his bathroom, forgetting to close the front door.

By the time he reached his destination hot, bitter tears were flowing freely from his eyes as he tore open the medicine cabinet door to reveal several prescription filled bottles, all alphabetized and lined up. The work of Obsessive Compulsive Dissorder. For the longest time Ryan just stood there, looking at the bottles, his eyes falling on the one filled with the anti-depressants, the only sound was his own harsh breathing.

Then with a shaky breath, he reached out and picked up the bottle. His hands trembled as he unscrewed the bottle and stared at the tiny pink pills inside. With a still shaking hand, Ryan tipped the bottle and shook almost all the contents into his other hand. With a final sob, he began to bring the hand that held the pills to his mouth. Just as his lips were about to part and allow what would be the cause of a slow, numb death. Another hand shot out of nowhere and knocked the hand with the pills away, senting the pills flying all over the bathroom.

Ryan turned just in time to feel the hot sting asthe hand slapped him across the face and then shoved him none too gently into the bathroom wall.

" WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING RYAN!" Screamed Eric Delko, livid at what he'd just witnessed and prevented his young coworker from doing.

Ryan simple stared back at the Cuban-Russian in shock, bringing a hand over his throbbing cheek. The shock quickly faded, quiet rage replacing it.

" What the fuck are you doing here Delko?" Spat out Ryan with a glare.

" WELL I THINK IT WAS OBVIOUS NOW ISN'T IT!" Yelled Eric with a seathing glare of his own.

Ryan scrubbed the tears away from his face and roughly pushed past Eric out of the bathroom.

" Just leave me alone Eric." Growled Ryan as he walked down the hall towards the livingroom.

" Forget it man, that isn't going to happen." Growled Eric as he followed Ryan.

Eric reached out and snagged one of Ryan's wrists and wrenched him around so that they faced each other.

What Eric didn't expect was the fist connecting with his jaw. Eric felt himself stagger backwards, catching himself before he could fall. He gazed back at a very enraged Ryan Wolfe

" JUST GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE AND LET ME PUT MYSELF OUT OF MY MISERY! " Screamed Ryan.

" No, I won't." Said Eric firmly.

" Just get out! Andsincewhen do you care whether I live or die? You hate me remember?" Growled Ryan, his eyes ablaze and tearing upwith anger.

This statement left Eric stunned, but he quickly gathered himself before went back to reasoning with the near berserk young man before him.

" I don't hate you Ryan, I never hated you, I mean sure we didn't get along but I never hated you." Said Eric, hoping he could get through to Ryansomehow.

" It doesn't matter, just go away!" Yelled Ryan as he tried to push past Eric once again, only this time, the other man wasn't going to be moved aside that easily.

" No." Was all Eric said as he stood firmly in place.

That simple word seemed to finally push Ryan over the brink. A deep, primal grown escaped the young man as he pounced on the Cuban, clawing and hitting as he went. It was enough force to send Eric toppling backwards, he managed to snag one of Ryan's wrists and in doing so, taking Ryan down with him.

The two of them fell to the floor in a heap of limbs and fury. The two men started wrestling for dominance. Eric trying desperately to get control over Ryan, but it was like trying to catch an eel.

" Ryan stop it!" Gritted out Eric as he finally manged to snag Ryan's other wrist and then flip them over so that he had Ryan pinned with his greater weight.

This did nothing to stop Ryan in his futile struggling, in fact, the struggling increased ten-fold. Eric pinned both of Ryan's wrists on either side of the youngman's head, looming over him.

" Let me go! " Snarled Ryan as he glared up at Eric.

" No, stop fighting me, you need to stop." Said Eric, hoping he could get through to Ryan.

" I don't need you! I don't need anyone, I just want it all to end!" Screamed Ryan, now trying with all his might to break free.

" You can say that all you want but I am NOT going to let you kill yourself! " Gritted out Eric as he held onto the young man for dear life.

" LET GO OF ME, PLEASE LET GO OF ME! " Screamed Ryan, now desperate to get away from the bigger man pinning him to the floor.

" Fuck this." Hissed Eric before he leaned down and smashed his mouth onto Ryan's. This had the desired effect, if only for a moment Ryan stilled in total shock. He could not believe what was happening, Eric Delko was KISSING him. Though he'd often dreamed of this happening, he was not to be detered.

Eric Delko tightened the lip-lock he had on Ryan as the latter let out a grunt of shock before he started struggling, in the process freeing his wrists. He gripped both of Eric's shoulder and started trying to push the other man off him, all the while squeeling in protest. But it would be to no avail as Eric was like a boulder on top of him, solid and unmovable. What was worse, the part of Ryan that wanted to loose itself in the kiss and stop fighting was slowly winning.

Eric felt a wave of relief and triumph when he felt the tension slowly leave the body beneath him. With a low moan, Ryan stopped fighting and wrapped his arms around Eric's neck and pulled him flush on top of him as he finally began to respond in kind to the mouth fused over his.

When the need for air became too much to ignore, the two of them broke apart with a gasp. Eric stared down at the man beneath him, who's eyes were wide with confusion and the beginnings of arousal.

The two of them simply stared at each other for what seemed an eternity before a growl ripped itself out of Eric's throat as he roughly gripped the white button-up shirt that hid Ryan's body and with a swift yank, he tore it open, causing the young man to cry out in shock. Somewhere in the distance, Ryan heard the sound of buttons bouncing off the hardwood floor as he continued to stare at Eric.

Eric took a moment to case at the pale, sleeking muscled upper body laying naked before him before he began attacking it with his teeth. Ryan let out a soft moan as teeth bit down on him none too gently, starting from his left pec to the right side of his neck.

The feeling of Eric's hot breath and hard teeth against the sensitive skin of his neck left Ryan feeling dizzy. He cried out at a particularly hard bite to the place where his shoulder and neck met. Eric paused in his marking to press his lips to Ryan's in another hard kiss while his hand traveled over the young man's chest and abdomen, slowly making its way downwards until he reached the belt of Ryan's jeans. As he continued to all but devour Ryan, Eric skillfully undid the belt and the button of Ryan's jeans.

Ryan pulled his head back and broke off the kiss and stared at Eric with wide eyes. Eric stared back at him with blazing eyes as his hand snaked its way into Ryan's jeans and under the waist band of his boxers.

Ryan let out a strangled cry as he felt Eric's hand squeeze a particular part of his anatomy, non too gently.

Eric watched in awe as Ryan's body arched magnificently, the sleek muscles of his upper body going wire tight. Ryan was seeing stars as he lay panting beneath Eric, who'd now started attacking the other side of his neck while his hand continued to stroke and tease his hardness.

Eric could feel his own desires spinning out of control, with a gigantic effort, he pushed himself off of Ryan and got to his feet, yanking Ryan roughly up with him.

" Let's take this to the bedroom." Growled Eric, giving Ryan a look that held no room for protest.

Ryan averted his gaze to the floor while still trying to catch his breath, sll the fight gone from him,as Eric roughly gripped his arm and yanked him in the direction of his bedroom, at the end of the hall.

They would continue somewhere more comfortable.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own anything C.S.I. Miami, it's all property of CBS and whatnot, so don't sue.

Chapter 5: Your Beautiful It's True

Eric roughly shoved Ryan through the bedroom door and strode in after the young man,all but slamming the door behind him. Then he was on Ryan again, shoving his tongue down the young man's throat.

Ryan was in a haze and gave no resistance and Eric plundered his mouth. He could faguely feel Eric moved him backwards until the backs of his knees hit the bed and he felt himself fall backwards until he was on his back on the bed, with Eric's full weight on top of him.

Eric roughly yanked the ruined button-up shirt away from Ryan's body discarding it on the floor, wanting to feel every bit of the soft, well toned flesh. When the need for air became to much to ignore, they broke apart with a gasp. Eric immeditaly began kissing a trail down Ryan's throat, to his chest, slowly travelling downward til he reached the younger man's navel.

There was silence throughout the entire house, save for the sounds of Ryan's shaky breathing. Eric moved to loom over Ryan, who gazed up at him with big, fearful greenish brown eyes. They seemed to be conveying the simple question.

_What the Hell are we doing?_

Eric's gaze hardened as he roughly man-handled Ryanonto his front, exposing his scarred back to the older man. Ryan let out a tiny whimper of discomfort at both how tightly Eric was gripping his wrists and the fact that his ugly scars were revealed in full to the other man.

Ryan let out a shuddering breath as he felt Eric's scorching hot mouth latch onto the rough, scarred flesh of his back. Eric moved with Ryan as the younger man arched against the new sensation. Eric planted a soft kiss on each scar he saw. This tender act caused tears to well in Ryan's eyes.

"My God, you're beautiful." Whispered Eric into Ryan's ear.

" No... I'm not." Whispered Ryan with a quiet sob. More tears started pouring down Ryan's face as Eric gently gripped his shoulder and turned him so that they faced each other.

"Ryan, look at me... Please." Said Eric softly.

Tear filled eyes stared up at him, pain and fear behind their depths.

Eric slowly reached out and cupped one of Ryan's cheeks lovingly.

" Yes you are. You were always beautiful to me." Whispered Eric before he leaned down and pressed his lips to Ryan's in a deep kiss.

A few minutes later, another shirt and two pairs of pants and underwear joined Ryan's ruined button-up shirt of the floor.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own anything C.S.I. Miami, it's all property of CBS and whatnot, so don't sue.

Chapter 6: Consumation

Ryan let out a strangled scream that ended in a sob as Eric penetrated his willing body. Ryan lay panting harshly beneath Eric, his hands gripping both of the Cuban's bicepts hard.

Eric gritted his teeth and stilled, allowing Ryan to grow accustomed to the new intrusion. Eric watched as tears spilled from the corners of Ryan's tightly shut eyes.

" Ryan... Please, look at me." Whispered Eric.

Through the haze of pain and pleasure he was in, Ryan heard these words and forced his eyes open, gazing up tearfully at the man looming over him.

" Ryan, do you want me to stop, am I hurting you?" Asked Eric, eventhough he knew he'd die if the answer was " Yes".

Instead, he watched as Ryan thrashed his head from side to side.

" Oh my God no!... Please no don't stop... Don't stop."Cried Ryan, the last part coming out in more of a moan.

With a smile, Eric leaned down and pressed his mouth over Ryan's in a fiery kiss. Ryan moaned deep from his throat as he returned the kiss, his legs unconsciously wrapping themselves around Eric's waist, pushing the Cuban deeper into the body he had already impaled.

Eric let out a small moan of his own before he pulled apart from Ryan, leaving them both breathless. Then Eric pulled his hips back till he was almost out of Ryan's body before he forcefully thrust back in, trying to find that happy spot.

Ryan cried out and arched off the bed, his head falling back, revealing his milky white throat to the Cuban's hungry gaze. Eric continued rocking in and near out of Ryan hard while he began attacking the young man's neck and throat with his lips and teeth.

Ryan let out a small whimper and tilted his head back further, granting Eric full acess. While Eric made a feast of the hypersensitive skin of his throat and neck, Ryan ran his hand all over Eric's powerfully muscled back. This action was slowly driving the Cuban mad with even more want. With a final hard bite to Ryan's throat and a low, primal growl, Eric rolled them over so that Ryan was now lying on top of him.

Ryan was now staring down at Eric in slight confusion, all the while panting as they lay still, their bodies joined. Ryan inhaled sharply when he felt a pair of strong, warm, almost hot hands trailing up from the base of his back to his shoulders and then back down again.

Eric craned his head up to capture Ryan's parted lips in another scorching kiss that seemed to last forever, when the need for air became to much to ignore, they broke apart with a gasp. With a small groan, Eric pushed himself into a sitting position with Ryan straddling his lap.

" You... feel... so good." Whispered Eric between the kisses he pressed to Ryan's collarbone. Ryan let out a shaky breath as Eric's hands left the scarred back and rubbed their way up Ryan's chest. Eric watched with satisfaction as Ryan's head fell back and he arched into the touch. When Eric's hands reached the younger man's neck, the Cuban gently but firmly wrapped his arms around Ryan, pulling him close. Ryan went willingly and let his eyes flutter shut as he felt Eric's mouth cover his own. Ryan parted his lips and allowed Eric's moist, hot toungue into his mouth, moaning as this toungue mapped out every countour and crevice of his mouth.

Eric gently pulled Ryan close and rolled over again, this time he was on top and he started slowly, torturously resuming in rocking in and near out of Ryan's body. Ryan let out a throaty moan when their mouths pulled apart and Eric started kissing a trail across Ryan's jaw to his throat, where he started gnawing gently on the younger man's caroted pulse.

" Eric... Ahh... Eric" Whimpered Ryan, his lips grazing Eric's ear as he spoke.

Eric paused in his minstrations and pulled back to see what was wrong.

" What is it Ryan, did I hurt you?" Whispered Eric.

" N-no... No you didn't hurt me." Whispered Ryan as he shook his head furiously.

" What do you want?" Asked Eric gently, using all he had to keep his own urges under control.

He felt a slight jolt when he felt Ryan's arms wrap around neck and gently pull him closer.

" I want you... to fuck me harder. Please, fuck me harder." Whispered Ryan, his voice laced with desperation and need.

Eric was both stunned and excited by these words.

" Ryan I..." Eric began, but he was cut off by a hot, needy mouth smashing into his. With a groan, Eric let the final wall break and complied with his lover's plea.

Ryan let out a cry of ecstacy and met each hard thrust for thrust. After a few thrusts, Eric felt Ryan's bodygo rigid and clench around his member. Ryan keened as release over took him and his world shattered in orgasm. He shot forth his seed between their joined bodies.

Eric watched as his lover's body went lax, becoming nothing more the a panting mass of boneless flesh beneath him. Eric could feel the tingling sensation at the base of his spine, he was close to completion himself.

Three more hard thrusts into Ryan's spent body and he came, his seed spilling into the condom he had sheathed his member in, grunting out the other man's name.

With what was left of his strength, Eric pulled out of Ryan's body, feeling a small pang of guilt at the wince that danced across Ryan's face as his much abused muscle protested the movement. Eric pulled off the used condom and threw it into the plastic trashcan beside the bed.

When Eric turned back to Ryan, the young man stare up at him with deep brown eyes, brimming with tears.

Without a word spoken, Eric gently lowered himself to that he lay on top of Ryan, wrapping his arms around the pale body beneath him tightly.

" It's okay Ryan, just let go of everything. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere." Whispered Eric and he tightened his hold around the now trembling young man.

With one final shaky breath, the floodgates opened.

" Eric." Moaned Ryan as the tears spilled from his eyes in hot rivers from the corners of his eyes. Ryan wrapped his own arms around Eric's strong shoulders, clinging to the man on top of him.

Eric held Ryan as he sobbed and cried himself to sleep, still clinging to the Cuban.

As he watched his lover sleep, Eric let out a sigh.

_" We'll have a lot to talk about when you wake querido."_ Thought Eric before he followed his lover into the land of sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own anything C.S.I. Miami, it's all property of CBS and whatnot, so don't sue.

Chapter 7: Trapped Between a Rock and Eric Delko With Not a Chance of Escape

Pain...

A dull, throbbing pain, both in his head and in his ass...

That was the first thing that passed through Ryan Wolfe's mind as he returned to the land of the conscious and coherent.

Ryan blinked his deep brown eyes several times as his still sleep hazy mind took in his surroundings.

He was in his bed, in his bedroom, in his house, he was laying on his side with someone spooned up behind him, an arm under his pillow and the other was around his waist, holding him firmly where he lay, somewhere it registered that the other occupant of the bed was Eric Delko. He checked his bedside alarmclock, it was 11:45 PM, it had been morning when he'd come barreling back home, upset and on the warpath.

It was then that the actions of mere hours ago came flooding back.

He had tried to kill himself by swallowing a whole bunch of anti-depressants, he had been about to open his mouth to swallow them when Eric had shown up and bitchslapped him across the face.

They had begun to argue and then he'd snapped and attacked Eric, they'd started rolling around on the floor when Eric had... kissed him.

That had ineveitably led them to where they were now, laying together in Ryan's bed, Eric still slumbering.

Ryan felt hot tears begin to well in his eyes.

Mere hours ago, he'd felt pure ecstacy and pleasure when he'd been at the mercy of Eric's touch.

Now everything came crashing back.

The pain of his past, what his mother had done to him, and ultimately, having to tell his coworkers and friends about it after three of them had caught a glimpse of the many scars of his back.

Ryan snapped out of his train of thought and swallowed the urge to start sobbing uncontrollably once again.

As discreetly as he could, Ryan disentangled himself from Eric's arms and got out of bed.

With tears now flowling freely down his cheeks, Ryan quickly found his black bathrobe and threw it on.

With a lingering look at the man still sleeping in his bed, Ryan turned and headed out of the room.

As though he were sleepwalking, Ryan found himself standing in the doorway of his bathroom, staring with morbid fascination at the numerous little pink pills that litered the white tile floor.

With a shaky sigh, Ryan stepped into the room and kneeled down before the pills. With a shaky hand, he reached into the cabinet under the sink.

Meanwhile, back in the bedroom, Eric Delko's deep brown eyes opened, blinking away the last tendrils of sleep.

The second his mind cleared, he was alarmed to find that he was alone in bed.

" Ryan." Whispered Eric as he scrambled out of bed and found his boxers and pants. After he somehow managed to get them on while also running out of the bedroom, he went to the place he hoped Ryan wasn't in, the bathroom.

When Eric reached the doorway to the bathroom, he stopped dead just before the threshold.

Ryan turned around from what he'd been doing, a dustpan with some pink pilled and a brush in his hands.

He stared up at Eric with uncertain eyes.

Eric felt lightheaded with relief, but he quickly shook himself out of it and hardened his gaze at Ryan.

Silently, Eric strode to Ryan and joined the younger man on the floor, he gazed at Ryan, then the items in his hands, and then back to Ryan.

" I... I thought I'd clean up a little." Said Ryan softly.

Eric wordlessly reached out and cupped one of Ryan's cheeks before he spoke.

" Go back to the bedroom, I'll clean up, I do not want you anywhere near this stuff."

" O-okay." Said Ryan as he obeyed and walked out of the bathroom.

Eric made quick work of finishing what Ryan had started, sweeping up every last pink pill he could find and dumping them into the waste-basket, all the while trying to block the images of what might have happened to Ryan if he'd been even a second late.

Once he was done with cleaning up the pills, he set his jaw as he went back to the bedroom, where Ryan was sitting on the foot of the bed, his lips hidded behind his clasped hands as he sat hunched over with his elbows resting on his knees. He looked up when Eric walked in, worry eminating form his eyes as he met Eric's neutral gaze.

Without uttering a word, Eric joined Ryan at the foot of the bed, taking a seat beside the other man.

" How are you?" Asked Eric quietly.

Ryan turned his gaze to Eric, this whole, Eric Delko actually caring about him was still a very new thing.

" I'm okay." Said Ryan quietly.

" Listen Ryan, I'm gonna have to call H and tell him what happened today with you and those pills." Said Eric.

Ryan mutely nodded his head while a humorless smirk spread across his face.

" Great, now I'm gonna get locked up somewhere and rot for the rest of my life." Said Ryan, his voice dripping with sarcasm, though inside, he was terrified.

" Hey, don't talk like that man, you're not going to rot anywhere, not if I can help it." Came Eric's stern voice.

" Since when are you a caring Swami who could see the future?" Sneered Ryan as he got to his feet and walked over to the window.

" Don't push it Ryan." Said Eric in a warning tone.

" And what are you still doing here anyway Delko, you fucked me into the matress, you got what you wanted, why are you still here?

No sooner had these words left Ryan's mouth he regreted it but, too little to late as Eric's eyes blazed with fury and a primal growl rumbled from the back of his throat.

Ryan let out a stunned yelp as he felt the sting of yet another slap across his face, then he felt two hands around his arms, a vice like grip that dragged him back towards the bed.

Within seconds, Ryan Wolfe found himself flat on his back on the mattress with a very livid and half naked Eric Delko looming over him, his hands now gripping a wrist each, pinning them on either side of their owner's head.

Ryan stared up defiantly at his captor, trying futily to break the grasp that held his wrist.

" Like I told you before, I'm not going anywhere." Said Eric, his voice low and dangerous.

Ryan, who had averted his gaze to the side, slowly turned his gaze back to the man looming above him.

" Now, you are going to go get dressed and then pack a bag, you're not staying here." Said Eric as he released Ryan's wrists and got to his feet.

Ryan was stunned for a moment.

" You wish you could order me around, I'm not gonna let you take me anywhere!" Yelled Ryan, stubborn as a mule.

" Ryan please, don't argue with me right now, just get dressed and do what I asked." Said Eric, with his back to Ryan as he retrieved his shirt and put it back on.

" Like hell I will! Why are you doing this?" Screamed Ryan.

Ryan watched as Eric turned and gazed at him with hard eyes before slowly walking to stand before the livid young man.

The next thing Ryan knew, a pair of strong, unyeilding arms pulled him into a crushing hug.

" I'm doing this because you were wrong when you said your uncle Ron was the only somebody in this world who ever loved you... I love you." Gritted out Eric, his voice hot against Ryan's ear.

Ryan felt himself go numb as these words sunk in.

Then he felt his chest begin to ache, his eyes began to burn, his throat constricted painful. All the anger he'd been feeling was now replaced by sheer disbelief and terror.

" N-no... No, No, No, you can't... You can't..." Said Ryan, his voice breaking piece by piece as he began to struggle against Eric's embrace.

" Why? Why can't I?" Asked Eric as he tightened his hold around the struggle man in his arms.

" Let go of me Eric, please... let go." Moaned Ryan as tears began to flow freely from his eyes.

" No, I'm not gonna let you go, tell me why you think I can't love you." Gritted out Eric, his hold was not going to break anytime soon.

" You can't... You just can't... I... I don't... I don't deserve love... I don't deserve it." Sobbed Ryan as he began to struggle even harder to get free, it was a futile effort.

" Ryan, stop it... JUST STOP IT!" Yelled Eric, his voice echoing throughtout the entire house.

Ryan went stock still and stared at Eric with wide, tearful eyes.

" Ryan Wolfe, you of all people deserve as much love as anyone else in the world, hell, you deserve even more than the rest of us. I love you Ryan, and what you tried to do today scared the shit out of me." Said Eric, his voice shaking for a second before it returned to it's stern tone.

"Now, you are going to get dressed and pack a bag, cause you are not going to stay in this house, and that is not up for discussion. If you start arguing with me, I will handcuff you, pack a bag for you, throw you over my shoulder and carry you to my car, with only this robe you are wearing right now. Is that clear?" Asked Eric, his eyes boring holes into the man in his arms.

With a lingering look of defiance, Ryan begrudgingly nodded his head before he hung his head in defeat and proceeded to do what Eric had instructed him to do.

Eric let out an inaudible sigh of relief and turned towards the door.

" I'll be waiting in the livingroom." He said flatly.

Ryan nodded mutely and watched the other man leave before he stripped off his robe and began to get dressed.

He quickly put on a fresh pair of boxers, dark blue jeans and a dark grey t-shirt over which he pulled on a black hoodie. He found his socks and shoes scattered around the room and quickly put them on.

He then set about packing a duffle bag with some clothes, he made a quick visit to the bathroom to get the necessary items, feeling a small chill at what might have taken place in that particular room.

Once he was done packing, he draped the bag strap over a shoulder and took a moment to remake his bed before he walked out of the room. He walked down the hall into the livingroom where Eric was waiting for him.

Without a word Ryan followed Eric out of the house, pausing to lock the door.

He walked beside the Cuban as they walked to where Eric's car was crookedly parked.

A small beeping sounded, alerting Ryan to the car being disalarmed.

Ryan was momentarily startled when Eric took the duffle bag from him and popped the trunk. Eric paused to give Ryan a look before he walked over to the driver's side and got in.

Ryan yanked the front passenger side door open and climbed in.

Ryan put on his seat belt and then sat with his arms crossed and his gaze firmly glued to the window, eventhough he could feel Eric's eyes on him.

Then the car grumbled to life and they were moving.

Ryan watched as his house grew smaller and smaller and then finally disappearing behind a corner.

With a shaky sigh, Ryan settled in for the ride with Eric.

Where they were going, Ryan didn't know.

That was what terrified him the most.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own anything C.S.I. Miami, it's all property of CBS and whatnot, so don't sue.

Chapter 8: Not the Place He Expected To End Up

Twenty minutes had passed in total silence between Eric Delko and his passenger Ryan Wolfe.

Ryan was pretty much in the same state he was in when he'd first gotten in the car, but in his mind, he was playing over some life-changing words spoken by the driver of the vehicle he was riding in.

_" You were wrong when you said your uncle Ron was the only somebody in this world who ever loved you... I love you."_

These words repeated themselves like a mantra in Ryan's head. Being as discreet as he could, Ryan stole a small glance at Eric.

_" Did you really mean what you said?"_ Thought Ryan before he turned his gaze back the window.

He had no idea where Eric was taking him, so he assumed that it was not going to be a pleasant place.

Eric more or less kept his gaze firmly out the windsheild, focusing on driving, but he too stole the occassional glance at Ryan.

" How can I show you that I meant what I said, that I really do love you?" Thought Eric as he pulled off the highway into the city.

After ten more minutes, Eric pulled into the parking lot of his apartment complex.

He found his spot and then turned the car off.

" We're here." Was all Eric said as he got out of the car and popped the trunk, getting Ryan's bag. Ryan got out of the vehicle and looked around.

Hold up, this place wasn't a mental asylum, what was the deal here?

He was confused for a moment before his CSI skills kicked in. His mind processed his surroundings and he found his eyes grow wide with dawning. He turned his gaze to Eric, who met his gaze with hard, warning eyes that also said, "just try to run, and I will catch you."

So no mental asylum, instead, he was at Eric's place.

Eric handed Ryan his bag before proceeding up the stairs to the front door of the main building, after a few steps, Eric turned to stare at Ryan.

Ryan hung his head and followed after Eric, the two of them climbing up the stairs side by side as Eric fished out his keys. When they reached the door, Eric held the door open for the other man before stepping in himself. They walked into the elevator when it came, and Eric pressed the button for the tenth floor.

As they road up, Eric pulled out his cell-phone and checked his calls, there were several missed calls from Horatio, Calliegh, and Alexx. He call H at a respectable hour, tell him about the prior events of the full day before, with some editing of course.

When they reached the tenth floor and the doors opened, Eric gestured for Ryan to go first, not giving the young man any opportunity of escape. Ryan sent him a flat, slightly annoyed look as he stepped out of the elevator.

Eric felt a pang of guilt as he eyed his lover's entirely sad demeanor.

Ryan followed as Eric led him to the door at the very end of the hall. Eric used his keys once more to open the door and stepped aside, giving Ryan a hard stare.

With a small sigh, Ryan stepped across the threshold into Eric's apartment, for some strange reason, he felt both doomed and relieved. He felt doom in that he was now going to have to stay with Eric and he felt relief for exactly the same reason.

The sound of a door closing behind and the lights suddenly coming on him made Ryan almost jump.

" Welcome to my humble abode." Said Eric, his voice a low grumble that sent shivers up Ryan's spine, he managed to supress the urge shiver.

" It's nice." Said Ryan quietly.

" You wanna grab a shower?" Asked Eric, knowing that Ryan hadn't been able to take one at his place.

Ryan looked at him before he averted his gaze to the floor and nodded silently.

" The bathroom is the second door on the right." Said Eric as he pointed down the hallway.

Without a word, Ryan pulled off his shoes and walked away in the pointed direction, with Eric's eyes following him until he disappeared down the hall into the second door.

Eric stood at the door of his apartment for a second longer before he finally let the gravity of the situation sink in.

_Ryan had tried to take his own life. _

_He had been there to stop the young man from doing so. _

_They had screamed at each other. _

_He had pushed Ryan over the edge and cause the younger man to attack him. _

_They had been rolling around on the floor. _

_He had given up on trying to restrain Ryan and ended up kissing him. _

Eric battled down a shiver as he brought his hand to his lips as his mind drifted to how soft and sweet that mouth had been.

_Ryan had responded in kind to the mouth fused over his._

_Clothes had been ripped off. _

_Flesh had been touched. _

_He had buried himself into a willing body. _

_They had both found completion in each other. _

_He had held Ryan as he cried himself to sleep before following. _

_He had woken up to an empty bed and had felt the cold fingers of terror grip his heart. _

_He had found Ryan in the place he had been hoping he wouldn't have found him... the bathroom. _

_He'd cleaned up the pills and gone back to the bedroom to confront the other man._

_They had argued and Ryan had asked him " Why?" _

_He had answered by saying ... I love you._

The sudden sound of water running broke Eric from his myriad of thoughts.

With a steadying breath, Eric pulled off his shoes and socks before he slowly walked down the hall, pausing at the second door on the right.

After fighting with himself, Eric overcame the temptation to join his guest in the shower, to feel that silky smooth skin now deliciously saturated once again. But, he thought better of it and instead, he went to his bedroom, where he would wait for Ryan to be done with the shower before he took one himself.

Meanwhile, inside the shower, Ryan rested his forehead against the cool, white bathroom tiles of the shower.

This was a turn of events he hadn't expected.

He wasn't locked up in the loony-bin like he thought he was going to be. Instead, he found himself in the apartment of the man who'd declared his love for him.

Ryan shivered as his mind drifted to the Russian-Cuban man in question. Ryan squeezed his eyes shut as he remembered the feel of Eric's skin against his own, the other man's mouth on his own, the tenderness in each kiss to the scarred flesh of his back, the near devouring desire that had enveloped them both, the way Eric had held him afterwards while he'd bawled his eyes out.

With each second that passed, Ryan felt himself believing more and more that this man had meant it when he'd told him that he'd loved him.

Ryan was shaken from his thoughts when the water grew cooler. If he didn't stop the shower, all the hot water would be used up.

Ryan quickly turned the water off and stepped off, grabbing a big, fluffy blue towel from the wrack and quickly drying himself off. He then put on a large black t-shirt and grey sweatpants, he finished toweling off his hair and then stepped out of the bathroom.

Eric heard the door open and quickly stalked out of his bedroom to met Ryan in the hallway.

An awkward silence followed before Eric spoke.

" You can uh... stay in the guestroom if you want to catch some Zs."

Ryan nodded, he knew full well there was no way Eric was going to let him go in to work today. There was slim chance Eric was going to let him out of his sight at all.

" Okay, sure." Said Ryan quietly.

Eric led the way to the guest room and let Ryan get settled in.

" If you need anything, just ask me." Said Eric, Ryan nodded before he turned and sat down on the bed and began to stare at the wall.

Eric bit back a sigh and turned, he still had to take a shower. He took a moment to look at the clock, it was 2:00 AM.

Eric let out a tiny groan as he walked into his bathroom and went immediately for the shower.

The water was warm and welcoming, cascading over his weary flesh.

Ten minutes later, Eric walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped securely around his trim waist.

He made his way back to his bedroom and quickly dressed into some sleeping clothes. With a sigh, he climbed into bed and decided he'd try and catch a few hours before it was the respectable time to call H and tell him what happened.

Eric lay in his bed and stared at the ceiling, time melting away as he tried not to think of what might have been.

A sudden shuffling noise alerted Eric, who sat up startled in bed.

He stared into two deep, chocolate brown eyes, Ryan Wolfe was standing on the other side of the bed, shifting nervously from foot to foot.

The two of them stared at eachother, for what was probably an eternity.

Without a word, Eric pulled back the covers on the side of the bed and gave Ryan a small smile.

Ryan returned the small smile with a hesitant one of his own before he climbed in beside Eric.

When Eric laid down, Ryan molded himself to the Cuban's side and rested his head on Eric's shoulder.

Eric sighed as he wrapped his arm around Ryan's shoulder, pulling him closer.

" Did you mean what you said?" Whispered Ryan.

" With all my heart, I meant every word with all my heart." Whispered Eric as he gave Ryan's shoulder a firm squeeze.

Ryan sighed before he spoke.

" I believe you. " Whispered Ryan before he buried his face into Eric's neck.

Eric smiled as he felt the last bit of tension left Ryan's body and his breath evened out.

With one more sigh, Eric closed his eyes and followed his companion into sleep, but before he did, one single question lingered in his mind.

_What would happen once the sun rose, and a phonecall was made?_


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own anything CSI Miami, it's all CBS and Whatnot.

Chapter 9: The Truth is Left to Be Said For Another Time and Never Letting Go

When Eric woke up again, he was careful not to disturb the young man still sleeping beside him. With a lingering look back as Ryan as he slept, Eric sighed and walked out of his bedroom.

Eric held back a wince, all the hits he'd taken the day before had caught up with him and he was certain he now sported a bruise on his jaw from when Ryan had clocked him. After a small stop at the bathroom, Eric continued towards his intended destination.

Each step he took felt like a lead weight as he headed down the hall to his livingroom. When he got there, his eyes immediately fell on the wireless phone sitting on the coffee table.

With another sigh, Eric took a seat on the sofa and reached out for the phone.

The phone felt like a cold stone in his hand and Eric couldn't help but wonder if it was the proverbial rock that would shatter the already frail young man he had openly told that he loved.

With a final, steadying breathe, Eric pressed the buttons for a number and brought the phone to his ear.

He waited for someone to answer.

_Ring... Ring... Ri..._

" Caine." Came the familiar voice of his Boss.

" H... It's me Eric."

" Eric, I've been trying to reach you since yesterday, is Ryan alright?" Asked Horatio, immediately asking about his youngest charge.

" H, he's more or less okay, he's asleep in my guestroom." Said Eric, hating himself for having to lie to Horatio.

There was a confused silence on the other end before Horatio spoke.

" Your guestroom, Eric, what happened yesterday?" Asked Horatio.

" H, yesterday, after Ryan left, I followed him back to his place and... Let's just say he wasn't all that glad to see me, I got a bruise on my jaw to prove it." Said Eric.

Inside, he was feeling an all consuming defeat. He'd said that he'd tell H about the pills and what Ryan had intended to do the day before.

He was chickening out.

He licked his lips before he continued.

" We start brawling, I end up getting the upper hand and after a few minutes of struggling, he broke down. I told him to pack a bag and brought him to my place."

" Eric, don't let him out of your sight today, we can manage without the both of you. Just keep him safe." Said Horatio, he knew full well that his subordinate wasn't telling him the whole story.

But, the truth would come out, one way or another.

" I will H." Said Eric before he hit the end button.

With a sigh, Eric picked himself off the couch and turned to head back to his beadroom.

Instead, he stopped dead when he found a pair of big brown eyes staring back at him.

Ryan Wolfe.

The two men stared at each other before Ryan tentatively stepped forward.

" Why didn't you tell him about me and the... pills?" He asked quietly, confused and disbelieving.

Eric sighed before he spoke.

" Don't think you're off the hook, I will make sure you tell H what happened yourself, one way or another." His tone was stern and unyeilding and he felt a small pang of guilt when he saw Ryan wince slightly.

Then, an awkward silence followed.

"You okay?" Asked Eric.

His only answer was Ryan shaking his head slowly shaking his head 'no' before turning and heading back down the hall.

Eric was instantly following his young guest as they headed back to the master bedroom.

When they were both inside the room, Eric lashed out and managed to snag one of Ryan's wrist.

He wrenced the other man around and found himself staring back at big brown eyes brimming with absolute terror.

Eric watched in alarm as the color drained completely out of Ryan's face. His colorless lips were parted and each short breath was quickly turning into a wheez.

Eric felt his eyes grow wide, Ryan was hyperventilating, badly.

" Can't... Breathe..." Gasped Ryan, he was feeling slightly dizzy now, and his knees were getting weaker by the second.

Eric immediately sprung into action as he pulled Ryan to the bed.

After quickly propping himself up against the headboard, Eric pulled Ryan to him so that the younger man was positioned between his legs, with his back to Eric's front. Eric wrapped his arms around the man in distress and held him firmly.

" Ryan? Ryan can you hear me?" Asked Eric, his voice deceptively calm but urgent.

Ryan nodded his head silently.

" Listen to me, I want you to breathe, just calm down and breathe with me. Take a deep breath." Said Eric, taking a profound breath himself.

Through the panic that still gripped him, Ryan felt Eric's chest rise and fall evenly against his back and slowly began to copy the movement.

For the better part of eternity, they just breathed, together.

When Ryan finally calmed down and was able to breathe normaly, he expected Eric to let go of him, instead, the other man's hold around him tightened.

Eric bit back the urge to roll his eyes and sigh in exasperation as he felt Ryan tense up against him.

" Aren't you supposed to let go of me now?" Asked Ryan, his voice though soft, was flat and sullen, with only a hint of breathlessness.

Ryan let out a tiny gasp when the arms around him tightened further as a pair of warm lips grazed his ear.

" No." Whispered Eric, his voice deep and husky.

Ryan battled down the urge to shiver before he spoke.

" Then when are you gonna let me go?" He asked as his mind comtemplating whether he should break free of Eric's grip or melt into it.

He could feel Eric sigh inaudibly behind him as his lips once again touched Ryan's ear as he spoke in answer to the question.

" Never."


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own anything CSI Miami. It's all CBS Baby! So don't sue.

Chapter 10: Loving Someone Like Ryan Wolfe and Completing that Which is Incomplete

_" Never."_

This simple word rang through Ryan, resonating through his entire being, making his heart both flutter and race at the same time.

Ryan bit back a small gasp when Eric gently nuzzled his face into his neck, planting a soft kiss behind Ryan's ear.

Without thinking, the tension left Ryan's body as he relaxed into the embrace Eric had around him, the back of his head coming to rest on the other man's waiting shoulder.

Ryan expected Eric to go further but instead, all the latino did was keep holding him, his breath ghosting over one of Ryan's cheeks.

After an eternity of simple laying in a warm oasis, Ryan hesitantly turned in Eric's embrace and stared up at the other man, not saying a word, just staring, and wondering.

Then, Ryan found his voice.

" Why do you wanna fall in love with someone like me?"

Eric's brow knitted in confusion for a second before he spoke softly.

" What do you mean, 'someone like you'?"

He watched as a deep sadness passed over Ryan face. The young man let out a small sigh before slowly laying his head under Eric's chin. Then, he was off on a verbal tyrade of reasons for _' Someone like me ' _

" Someone born out of hate, not love. Someone who has DNA in common with a monster, a man who most likely violated several women before impregnating one unfortunate soul with his offspring. Someone with the scars to prove that at ten years old, his mother hated him enough to carve him up like a peice of meat and them leave him bleeding on the kitchen floor to die while she herself blew her head off. Someone who...

Ryan trailed off for a moment, unable to continue before he spoke.

" Why do you want to fall in love something as damaged and incomplete as I am? Cause you deserve better than me."

Eric felt his eyes grow wide, his mouth go slightly slack, and his heart wrench itself painfully within his chest. Much to his chagrin, he also felt the burn of tears behind his eyes as he stared down at the man he loved.

He unwrapped his arms from Ryan to gently but firmly grip the young man's face in his hands, all in one swift motion that made Ryan gasp and stare up at Eric with wide eyes.

Eric eyes were hard with determination as he spoke.

" I'm already in love with you." Said Eric softly, watching as Ryan's already wide eyes grew wider before he continued.

" I think... a part of me fell in love with you the moment I saw you that first day when walked up to me and H, and over these last few months, the rest of me's fallen madly in love with you."

This soft admission left Ryan's mind reeling and the backs of his eyes burning.

Before he could stop it, a single tear escaped from his eyes.

It was gently wiped away by Eric's thumb.

Then, Ryan felt a small jolt as he found himself being gently pulled sideways, until he was flat on his back, with Eric Delko looming over him.

Their faces were so close, Ryan could feel Eric's breath ghost over his lips as he spoke, his eyes boring holes into the younger man.

" Ryan Wolfe, I choose who I want. I want you. I want everything that makes you who you are. This damage your talking about, it's a part of you and so, I want it too."

Ryan felt his already overloading mind reel once again as Eric continued, this time his voice was not hard and determined, it was soft, questioning.

" And as far as you being incomplete, can I at least try to make you whole?"

This question made something in Ryan's heart break and swell at the same time. A myriad of emotions ranging from ecstacy to sheer terror and everything in between washed over him as he stared up at Eric.

" Can I at least try?" Asked Eric again, his eyes staring anxiously down at Ryan, the light of the morning dancing across his caramel hued face.

Eric watched as fresh tears welled in Ryan's big, brown eyes.

Not being able to stop himself, Ryan crumbled. With a sob, Ryan turned away and curled into a fetal position as he buried his face into his hands and began to cry, silent sobs wracking his entire body.

Eric felt his heart break as he witness the total and all consuming anguish his lover was in.

Not really knowing what to do, Eric reached out and placed a gentle hand on Ryan's shaking shoulder.

Eric felt Ryan tense beneath his hand and now expected an angry lashing out.

Sure enough, Ryan jerked away from him and them bolted off the bed.

They were both on their feet in a spilt second.

" I need to be alone right now, I need to think, I'm going to my room." Said Ryan, softly as he all but bolted from the room before Eric could stop him.

Eric stood and listened to the sound of Ryan's retreating feet before there was a louder noise as a door was opened and then firmly shut.

Then Eric let out a heavy sigh and collapsed onto the bed and stared at the ceiling.

At least they'd talked a little, it was a start. Now he just hoped his words had gotten through to the man he loved.

Eric couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness spread through him at the thought of all that Ryan had had to edure in his life, all that pain, anguish, terror.

Eric screwed his eyes shut to stave off the image of a young Ryan lying on a kitchen floor, bleeding profusely from all the wounds that had been inflicted on him, by his own mother.

All that trauma had messed this young man up immensly, but what was all the more startling was how well Ryan had kept it hidden and come off as a normal, almost geeky young CSI.

Time seemed to have stopped and for the better part of eternity, Eric just lay there in the silence, thinking and listening at the feint sounds of crying from down the hall. He bit back the urge to get up and rip the guestroom door open and pull Ryan into his arm and never let him go, like he promised. Instead, he would respect the younger man's wishes to be alone, knowing how overwhelming this situation truely was for him.

After an eternity, Eric got up off his back and slowly walked down the hall, coming to stand before the guestroom door.

He stood staring at the door before he steadied his nerves and reached for the doorknob. He slowly turned it and gently pushed the door open.

When the door swung away, Eric caught sight of Ryan sitting on the edge of the bed, look completely miserable and lost in his own thoughts, his tears had dried.

Ryan looked up to glance at Eric before returning his sad gaze to the floor.

Eric hesitantly stepped into the room and made his way over to the young man.

Ryan however, didn't look up at his pressence, he simply kept of staring at the floor.

He was so lost in his melancoly, he was startled if for a moment, when he felt a warm hand on his knee. He found himself face to face with Eric, who now gracefully kneeled before him, between his parted legs, invading his personal space.

They stared at eachother, Ryan's big brown orbs anxious and uncertain staring back at Eric's, deep and intense, unwavering and filled with love.

Ryan felt his heart begin to race as he lost himself in the deep gaze.

He felt a shiver run up his spine as the hand on his knee slowly traveled up his thigh before leaving his leg to gently cup his cheek.

Much to Eric's silent relief, Ryan leaned into the touch.

Eric moved his hand from Ryan's cheek to gently grip the back of the young man's neck, slowly beginning to pull him closer.

Ryan gave no resistance as Eric leaned his own head up to meet him have way.

Then, Eric stopped a mere breath away from Ryan's face, a question unspoken on his lips.

_" Are you sure?"_

His answer was Ryan surging forward, closing the already sparse distance between them and covering Eric's mouth with his own in a desperate, needy kiss.

With a low growl, Eric took control of the kiss, ravishing the young man's mouth as he wrapped his arms possessively around Ryan's waist.

He pulled Ryan to him as the latter wrapped his arms around his neck as they continued kissing eachother like there was no tomorrow. They were so caught up in the heat, Eric's knees buckled from where he'd been kneeling, he found himself slowly falling backwards, taking Ryan with him.

They found themselves sprawled on the carpeted floor with Ryan straddling Eric's hips.

When both of there pairs of lungs began to burn from a lack of oxygen, the pulled apart with a gasp.

Eric stared up at Ryan's now glazed eyes before he spoke in a hoarse whisper.

" Can I complete you?"

This question hung in the air amidst the silence.

Ryan stared down at Eric with uncertain eyes before he spoke the single word that would change everything.

" Yes."


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own anything C.S.I. Mimai It's all CBS Baby! So don't sue.

Chapter 11: Completion and Comfort, Maybe Even, the Beginnings of Love

Ryan watched with anxious excitement as a fire lit within the depths of Eric's eyes as the Cuban stared up at him.

Then, all rational thought left Ryan's mind as a hot, nearly scorching hot mouth covered his own possessively, while strong yet gentle hands tangled into his hair.

Ryan was still for a moment before his entire body seemed to sigh as he returned the kiss with an eagerness that surprised him.

Through the haze he was now in, Ryan let out a small moan as he felt himself being rolled onto his back, with a solid, warm weight resting comfortably on top of him.

When his lungs began to burn from a lack of oxygen, Ryan pulled away with a gasp and stared up at Eric, dazed where he lay.

A humorless, hungry smirk spread across Eric's lips as he stared down at Ryan, who lay breathless beneath him, lips wet and slowly turning red from the very passionate kiss they just shared.

A very nice image in Eric's opinion.

They stared at eachother for a moment before Eric slowly leaned back down, this timed moving to the side as his lips sought the soft, very sensitive skin of Ryan's neck and throat.

Ryan inhaled sharply and instinctively arched into the body above him and wrapped his arms loosly around Eric's shoulders as the Cuban's mouth began to gnawed greedily at his throat and neck.

One of Eric's hand's snaked it's way under the too big T-shirt Ryan was wearing, seeking out one of the small, brownish pink nipples that graced the young man's chest.

Ryan cried out as he felt Eric's fingers begin to fondle and tease the hypersensitive bud, twisting it to the point of pain, all the more intoxicating as Ryan's lost his grip around Eric's neck, his arms falling away and landing limply on either side of his head as he writhed and moaned under Eric.

With satisfaction, Eric paused in his ministrations to push up Ryan's shirt, quickly devesting the young man of the offending garment before diving in for another passionate kiss, which Ryan returned fervently.

They kissed till the need for air was too much to ignore, with a gasp, Eric wrench his mouth from Ryan's lips and then sat up, pulling the younger man with his so that he now sat straddling the Cuban man's lap, with a full feel of what all the passion was doing to a certain part of Eric's anatomy.

The room was still, amplifying the harsh pants emulating from its two occupant.

" I want you." Whispered Eric as he gazed up into Ryan's glazed eyes.

Ryan slowly buried his face into Eric's neck before he spoke.

" You can have me."

With that, all permission was given and taken.

Ryan bit his lip to keep from crying out as he felt Eric'c hands travel all over the scarred flesh of his back, both gentle and powerful, driving him almost mad with want. It intensified when Eric's mouth once again attached itselt to his throat, this time biting at the sensitive skin.

After several long minutes of sheer, delicious torture, Eric pulled himself away slowly climbed to his feet, pulling Ryan up with him.

Once again, Ryan's felt his mind go blank as Eric's mouth covered his in another fiery kiss.

As they kissed, Eric slowly manuvered Ryan backwards out of the room, the two of them stumbling back up the hall to Eric's bedroom.

In the process, Eric lost his own shirt and almost fell through the open door of the bathroom before they reached the master bedroom.

The room was dim, the curtains partially blocking out the day light.

Then, they were falling and landing onto the soft mattress of Eric's bed.

As he lay under Eric once again, Ryan let out a breathy moan, with his head falling back as he felt one of Eric's hands sneak under the waist-band of the sleeping pants he was wearing, seeking out what lay beneath the fabric.

" Eric... Please..." Moaned Ryan.

Eric paused in his touching to loom over Ryan once again.

" Please what Ryan?" He asked, deciding he'd torment his lover, just a little.

" Please... t-take me." Whimpered Ryan.

With a growl, Ryan's lips were once again captured by Eric's greedy mouth. Eric all but devoured Ryan's mouth as the hand that had sneaked into the younger man's pants slowly pulled the garment away.

Ryan felt vulnerable under Eric's hungry gaze as the older man took in the sight of the pale, naked body beneath him.

" My God, you're beautiful." Whispered Eric with a genuine smile gracing his lips.

Ryan felt his unease melt away, a warmth washing over him. He felt a small blush spread across his cheeks.

Eric found this absolutely adorble as he leaned in for a slow, sensual kiss, laying between Ryan's legs.

Ryan moaned as he kissed Eric back, his arms wrapping around Eric's back, his fingers digging into the powerfully musculed flesh.

Eric's pants were soon descarded to the floor, leaving only skin touching skin.

As he attacked Ryan's chest and shoulders with his teeth, Eric fumbled open the bedside drawer, pulling out protection and lube.

He sent a look to Ryan's flushed face, forewarning of what was going to happen, one final chance to back out.

Ryan simple stared at Eric for a moment before he lashed out, taking Eric's face into his hands and pressed his lips to Eric's, a kiss of consent.

Everything got blurry for Ryan after that as his world was shattered the second he felt Eric penetrate him.

Everthing else disappeared as Eric slowly, torturously thrust into the willing body beneath him.

Ryan buried his face into Eric's throat, each breath his lugs expelled ending in a tiny moan.

Eric continued to gnaw at Ryan's sensitive skin. Tasting and touching everything he could.

After an eternity of torture and pleasure, Ryan felt his last wall crumble.

The rest of the world, his past, the scars that marred both his flesh and his soul, what he was going to do concerning his job and suicide attempt, all of it was gone, in that moment, only one thing, one person mattered...

" ERIC!" Yelled Ryan as he came between their joined bodies, feeling absolutely free for the first time in his life.

When his release had ended, he fell limp beneath Eric, panting and seeing stars, still feeling Eric inside him.

Eric knew he was close, he'd nearly lost it the second he felt Ryan go rigid underneath him as he'd come.

Two more thrusts into Ryan's spent body and his vision went white as he came. He spilled his seed into the condom, still buried deep inside the body beneath him.

When his orgasm passed, he used what strength he had left in his spent body to gently pull out of Ryan's body, a small wince passing across Ryan's face at the motion.

With a small groan, Eric sat over the edge if the bed and pulled the protection off, throwing it into the waste-basket by the bedside drawer.

He then turned to see Ryan staring at him, with dazed and content eyes.

They stared at each other for the better part of an eternity before Eric lat back down on the bed, one of his arms snaking around Ryan's waist.

To his silent relief, Ryan didn't flinch away from him, allowing himself to be pulled into a warm embrace. His back plastered to Eric's from.

Sleep was slowly taking hold of both of them.

Before he gave in, Ryan spoke.

" So you're never gonna let go of me?" He asked softly, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips as he felt Eric nuzzle the back of his neck.

" Never." Whispered Eric as he tightened his hold around Ryan.

" We can talk some more later, right now, sleep, and don't even think about trying to leave, I won't like that." Smirked Eric.

Much to his delight, this earned a tiny chuckle from Ryan, who snuggled back against him as he let sleep take full hold.

Eric felt Ryan's body relax fully against him, the young man's breathing evening out.

With a smile, Eric pressed a soft kiss to Ryan's naked shoulder before settling down beside him, finally allowing sleep to take hold of him as well.

Before Ryan surrendered fully to sleep, a single thought ran through his mind.

_" I think I'm falling in love with you too Eric."_


End file.
